Book finished: be different
30/10/2014
I will admit I read this to see how much applied to me. It would seem some of it does. It is not like like being pregnant; you can be a "little bit" different.
That said, there is a lot that does not apply to me, like lack of interpersonal empathy, irrational fears and phobias, or inability to have conversations, although that one took some work on myself to achieve. The author often emphasises that there is a lot people can do to compensate for the way their brain works, and also that there is a lot that can be achieved by exploiting the difference, with talents available that other people do not have. He is also keen that young people should know as much as possible about themselves so that they can plan how to go about their lives without running into problems they do not understand because that understanding is not as instinctual as it is in others. |
More than occasionally he would strike a nerve with me, such as when he talked about manners and what he calls "... the handshaking ceremony. By shaking hands with everyone when you enter a room, you make a connection to them and avoid the 'I never noticed you' problem. I never did that before, preferring to slink into a room quietly and stand in a corner."
I can remember doing that at parties when I was in my twenties. Sometimes I would even enter by the back door to avoid all that meeting and greeting stuff. I held it a matter of pride that I could quietly insinuate myself into a group so that I could just innocuously join into a casual group conversation as though I had always been there, without causing that ripple of "Where did you come from?" I have learned by now that this is a bit strange and seemingly manipulative of people. (Perhaps people did think it was a bit strange and I just never noticed, ha-ha.) I also used to leave by just disappearing when I felt like it, and it took me years to realise that people need formal partings as well, so that a person's whereabouts and destination are known, even if only for safety reasons. People care about each other, but I did not realise it.
He can be quite funny too, e.g. describing the perils of female company, and making compliments: "For example, 'You smell clean today' seldom goes over well".
In general I found the book well written and informative, and fit for my purpose at least, confirming many of my conclusions regarding my own behaviour.
It has an appendix for parents, teachers etc, and I think anyone who is or has anything to do with an Aspergian would find it a great read and resource.
I can remember doing that at parties when I was in my twenties. Sometimes I would even enter by the back door to avoid all that meeting and greeting stuff. I held it a matter of pride that I could quietly insinuate myself into a group so that I could just innocuously join into a casual group conversation as though I had always been there, without causing that ripple of "Where did you come from?" I have learned by now that this is a bit strange and seemingly manipulative of people. (Perhaps people did think it was a bit strange and I just never noticed, ha-ha.) I also used to leave by just disappearing when I felt like it, and it took me years to realise that people need formal partings as well, so that a person's whereabouts and destination are known, even if only for safety reasons. People care about each other, but I did not realise it.
He can be quite funny too, e.g. describing the perils of female company, and making compliments: "For example, 'You smell clean today' seldom goes over well".
In general I found the book well written and informative, and fit for my purpose at least, confirming many of my conclusions regarding my own behaviour.
It has an appendix for parents, teachers etc, and I think anyone who is or has anything to do with an Aspergian would find it a great read and resource.
Read as an e-book borrowed from Auckland Libraries via Overdrive, on my Kobo Touch e-reader.