Western Swing:
The hotbed of understated alcoholism disguised as sexism, disguised as humour.
08/06/2014
Post inspired by the purchase of this CD from the label Fantastic Voyage (Future Noise Music Ltd) They have some fantastic compilations. They seem to be working a sort of retro-cool vein. Funny thing, "Never Trust A Woman" was written by a woman; the first woman to write a No. 1 country music hit. I will leave you to make what you will of that. |
Note the lyrics highlighted in GREEN.
These guys are anxious to make drinking sound like something normal,
it is just the woman's attitude that is a problem,
but hey, they can make light of it because it's only a woman after all.
"Don't Telephone - Don't Telegraph (Tell a Woman)"
(Al Stewart / Tex Williams) (1948) Recorded by : Tex Williams & His Western Caravan |
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If you want to spread the news
There are lots of ways to use
But the ordinary ways are much too slow.
There is just one thing to do
Here is my advice to you
Confidensh'ly it's the fastest way I know.
Don't telephone don't telegraph
Tell a woman and the news will get around.
Don't telephone don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll tell the whole darn town.
All my life I didn't think
It was wrong to take a drink
'Till one day my gal found out and I was sunk
Seems a woman spread the word
And the next things that I heard
They were sayin' I was in the gutter drunk.
Don't telephone don't telegraph
Tell a woman if you want to advertise
Don't telephone don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll build it up with lies.
There are lots of ways to use
But the ordinary ways are much too slow.
There is just one thing to do
Here is my advice to you
Confidensh'ly it's the fastest way I know.
Don't telephone don't telegraph
Tell a woman and the news will get around.
Don't telephone don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll tell the whole darn town.
All my life I didn't think
It was wrong to take a drink
'Till one day my gal found out and I was sunk
Seems a woman spread the word
And the next things that I heard
They were sayin' I was in the gutter drunk.
Don't telephone don't telegraph
Tell a woman if you want to advertise
Don't telephone don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll build it up with lies.
"Never Trust A Woman"
(Jenny Lou Carson) (1947) Recorded by : Tex Williams & His Western Caravan |
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If you ain't a man with a lot of guts, a dog-gone woman will drive you nuts
You can't trust one to the corner nowadays
You gotta watch your door, she'll cheat you blind, a woman ain't got but a one track mind
You'll find out Bud, it's the man that always pays
She'll feed you a line that'll turn your head, you'll marry her, and when you're in bed
She's gonna go through all the pockets in your coat and pants
And if you object there'll be a big fight and chances are it'll last all night
I'm telling you man you just ain't got a chance
Never, never trust a woman, you'll be sorry if you do
Never, never trust a woman, she'll make a monkey out of you
You know women are handy around the house, but they can't be trusted by man or mouse
It's a shame the way they drag a good man down
And it's a well-known fact they talk too much, they dig up dirt about the neighbors and such
Then they Paul Revere the gossip round the town
You'll blow your top when they get in your hair, they'll drive you to drink and man I swear
You're a'gonna wish that you'd never seen the light of day
And I'm tipping you off your goose is cooked when one of them females get you hooked
And so you better think it over brother, while you may
Never, never trust a woman, you'll be sorry if you do
Never, never trust a woman, she'll make a monkey out of you
I'm telling you man it's a dirty shame to come home late from a poker game
To a little woman that that you know's just gonna give you heck
Yeah gonna be sittin' there alone with a rolling pin and she's gonna let you have it when you walk in
And when she gets through Mac you're really gonna be a wreck
And if you've had a nip, she smells your breath she start in nagging you half to death
And brother you gotta put up with that for life
Cause the preacher he said for better or worse, until you take your ride in that big black hearse
Man you just naturally got yourself a wife
Never, never trust a woman, you'll be sorry if you do
Never, never trust a woman, she'll make a monkey out of you
(Man I just gotta have another sack o' peanuts)
You can't trust one to the corner nowadays
You gotta watch your door, she'll cheat you blind, a woman ain't got but a one track mind
You'll find out Bud, it's the man that always pays
She'll feed you a line that'll turn your head, you'll marry her, and when you're in bed
She's gonna go through all the pockets in your coat and pants
And if you object there'll be a big fight and chances are it'll last all night
I'm telling you man you just ain't got a chance
Never, never trust a woman, you'll be sorry if you do
Never, never trust a woman, she'll make a monkey out of you
You know women are handy around the house, but they can't be trusted by man or mouse
It's a shame the way they drag a good man down
And it's a well-known fact they talk too much, they dig up dirt about the neighbors and such
Then they Paul Revere the gossip round the town
You'll blow your top when they get in your hair, they'll drive you to drink and man I swear
You're a'gonna wish that you'd never seen the light of day
And I'm tipping you off your goose is cooked when one of them females get you hooked
And so you better think it over brother, while you may
Never, never trust a woman, you'll be sorry if you do
Never, never trust a woman, she'll make a monkey out of you
I'm telling you man it's a dirty shame to come home late from a poker game
To a little woman that that you know's just gonna give you heck
Yeah gonna be sittin' there alone with a rolling pin and she's gonna let you have it when you walk in
And when she gets through Mac you're really gonna be a wreck
And if you've had a nip, she smells your breath she start in nagging you half to death
And brother you gotta put up with that for life
Cause the preacher he said for better or worse, until you take your ride in that big black hearse
Man you just naturally got yourself a wife
Never, never trust a woman, you'll be sorry if you do
Never, never trust a woman, she'll make a monkey out of you
(Man I just gotta have another sack o' peanuts)